Tonka Trucks

This is my contribution to all those credit-trial, is to live my life in my shoes for a day.

As I sat on my computer, playing with a good hand, I am forced now to my story, such as drug abuse say destroyed my life. Before God gave me, I was smoking crack, snorting heroin, popping pills, I was able to treat pain. I could not stop the medicine is using it, God loves me enough to stop my black behind. I had a heart attack, which left myparalyzed on the left side. Then it occurred to me, "You fool, you really F'd up now." It 'been two years ago, for 2 1 / 2 years happily sober. The 1 / 2 years has been explicitly closed all doors for me forever.

Born in 1968, my childhood was at best average. Not bad, but not rich, I received gifts for Christmas as "Rock em Sock em Robots", "Tonka Truck," Wheels "and" Matchbox cars. "My father, shortly before he died, suddenly, I bought my first video game pong Hot Sears,cost $ 159.99 currently. Atari was the leader, but did his best. My father and I were very close, almost inseparable. Later, at the age of 25 years, my mother told me Leo was not my real father. However, I felt loved. My mother loved me, but it was different. He took me everywhere you go and teach me, like carpets, hair cut, work on clean cars, etc. My mother always used to take me to baby-sitter so she could play bingo, go to the beauty shop, do shopping or horseTrack. I remember the terrible experience of sitting for hours while my mother and my aunt went to "Gasman and Marshall Fields. Yet we can not buy. Horray shopping online.

Spoiled young age, has changed the death of my father, my personality drastically. I did not feel loved, even though my mother his best to show proof. Suddenly, buying a single parent. I started having headaches all the time. No perceived joy in my life, I tried to take my frustrationsno. No smile, no, no conversation, but the pain. The cousins and my friends have the weight of frustration, even though I could not fight a lick. Girl beat me:).

12 years, angry at the world in later years ago for the sole purpose of what was to come. first sexual experience, first sexual experience slippery, the first night up all night, the first experiences with alcohol and marijuana. Every time I was drunk or high, I thought it was on top of the world. My mother founda friend (years later), he would sometimes stay in his house all night. It has no telephone, and he was a drinker, so I knew that if my mother was not home by 08:00, Freedom grow!

The first night was tough, through me. I was scared, crying and everything. After that it was a breeze. Every other day, wanted to be gone the weekend at home every day. The beginning of the split personality, a further step in deception.

1. Angry with the world.

2. Deception

I knew howOnce, when my mother was at home and act in the face when she was gone. I had to be women, orgies, parties, whatever, as I did, like I'm an adult. school work was easy, even if he was a Catholic high school and began developing an attitude of high School.The Camilion. 16 years, stone drunk. It was not 12 steps in my community, so I thought. E 'was great, I have red eyes, just opened. I did not know the things I love to do in sports was not importantmore. My thought was the woman with a player and all. Women were objects of desire for me, maybe all the pornographic films, I was watching on a daily basis.

Disease has been for me a word that has been associated with actions, not mental or physical well-being. With drug abuse, is a springboard, some immediately, others gradually. I use gradually. Alcohol, then marijuana, both, etc. I know now, alcohol is a drug, and leaves you vulnerable to things you usually say not to do. Four of my5 children were conceived in a state of intoxication or excessive. When I was young, always high, smoking crack, the last thing I thought of doing, but I've never done a day is not done about it. 3. Lying to themselves.

My first experience with crack cocaine came in the form of a joint company in a very determined in a closed holiday for 2 weeks. I drank a "long time" trying to be cool, weed control to say yes, that was passed, I was smoking something that my brain is confused. The taste was fun, but Iknew I had to have it. It 'been a beastly appetite for this, although I did not know what it was. 4. Ungrateful. The year was 1993. April, the day changed my life when I hit the pipe. 285 pounds and quite healthy, that soon changed. Within two months, my routine was more than $ 2000 per day, no exaggeration. I did everything that was not tied. I have from my wife, my children, my mother of all people. My goal was the stuff, that's all. Before I do not like the feeling, now I felt less than humanit is not. Treatments, not the long-term support and short term. I said before that you used to do when people around you saw that in wastewater treatment plants, the same behavior. good job let me go, let me go, my friends, my enemies want to die, but God had another plan.

The threats by the woman, never mind. I have my own life that God has made many visits to the service, it did not matter. Drugs called me and I answered the call. I can not tell you how many times my wife has been left inStop or a designated area would be on hold, just to see, but it was not displayed. It 's amazing, though, if you put your addicted open, people change. It is not their fault?

In October 2005, after riding the trains all night back on drugs, almost closed all the doors for me, I decided to stop in real time. The time I stopped was because I took and I felt it was serious this time. After diabetes, high blood pressure and use the bathroom every ten minutes also helpeddecision.Every year from my drug use has been extended pursuant to a hospital, at least a month, every year. Each time the pastor is called, the first or second sentence was: "Are you still up?" My wife has stopped calling friends and it hurts me to see them suffer for sticking with me. Making dirty people started to catch on me. I've been waiting for a hospital emergency room and other things.I just been hired at Caterpillar arrested, but never called in

Free fromyears of drug abuse, I had a heart attack Jan. 9, 2006. Being only 37 years, has been a challenge for me. I was blind and went into a comma for 9 days for a blood sugar level of more than 1000 Your doctor has prescribed a body bag, but God spared my life again. All attempts, I was still using drugs. This is how powerful the addiction. No matter the circumstance or situation, and the drug destroys you. The stroke paralyzed my left side, but I can walk, talk, go to schoolOnline, driving, cooking, are as normal as possible.

After I had the shot, there was a weight lifted from me. I knew that my concerns were more like medicine. I do not think anyone at the request of stroke. But if you choose the drug or the race, I chose the race. Drug addiction is the worst scenario at all, other than to spend eternity in hell. Addiction is hell on earth. Pray for those who struggle with drugs. Somebody prayed for me.

Today I am a student studying in aa lawyer, a lawyer for the disabled. I am free, I love you today and appreciate the life I live. As a diabetic my eating habits are good and will remain that way. My current weight is the 225th My sugar is an average of 115 and blood pressure 125/68. Good, healthy food. There are great healing in my family relationships, connections and greater spiritual growth. My goal is to change the world for the better and I will!